Forgotten Memory
by ChinasPandaARU
Summary: Ivan and Yao were best friends, but one day, Yao disapeared from Ivan's life forever. So why did Yao show up in Ivan's class, and why can't he remember him? Human names used.
1. Prologue

**AN: As the second fanfic on here, I'm quite proud of it. And it's Rochu! Also, this story has not been beta'd. Hope you enjoy.**

Rain fell from the sky, crying over the scene unfolding below. It seemed to be crying for the child alone on the swing set.

He looked through his violet eyes, full of tears that would not come, at his friend loading onto the ambulance.

The school bell rang, signaling the children that playtime was over, and classes were about to start again. But the crowd around the vehicle made no move to leave.

He didn't know it would happen. He hated himself for it. That a person with asthma could get so sick, that they had to be rushed to the hospital.

If he had known that, he wouldn't have made Yao play tag.

"Ivan," he heard a voice call to him. He looked up to see his big sister, Carlee. She was wringing her hands, a worried look on her face. She knew how important Yao was to him.

"Let's go home."

Ivan didn't want to go home, he didn't want to go anywhere except with Yao . But nevertheless, he took Carlee's hand, and walked through the soaking rain.

When Yao didn't come back the next week, then the next month, and when Christmas came, Ivan knew that Yao had died.

He didn't want to lose anyone ever again, so when Natalia was born, he spoiled her till she was rotten.

But when she started thinking that his love was more than a brotherly love, he kept away from her. It didn't stop her from chasing after him, though.

As Ivan grew up, he became so sad and twisted, that the family had to move.

Ten years after Yao 's death, Ivan still wore a fake smile, and still had Yao constantly on the back of his mind. Imagine his joy when Yao walked in that Monday morning, then imagine his despair when he found out that Yao didn't remember him.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: You know how suprised I was when I found 10 emails in my inbox this morning saying story alert and reviews? Enough to make me giddy. You guys are lucky that I have the next 2 chapters already written, cause it won't always be like this.**

Ivan couldn't stop staring, how could he when he was seeing a ghost?

At the front of the class was Yao , a living, breathing, older Yao .

_But that's impossible, _he thought, _Yao died ten years ago._

"Okay, this is Yao Wang," Professor Roma said to the class, boredom evident in his voice. "He's the new transfer you've been hearing about for weeks, so everyone be good to him."

"That's a _guy?_" ask Alfred, his blue eyes widening with surprise. He and Ivan had a long standing rivalry, ever since Ivan moved to Seychelles nine years ago.

Despite the hate between them, Ivan had to agree with Alfred. Yao looked nothing like a man with his long black hair in a tail, traditional Chinese clothes, and a slender frame with pale skin.

Yao responded by slapping Alfred across the cheek, knocking off his glasses.

"I'd be careful of what you say if I were you, aru," Yao told him. His mouth was curved into a smile, but his eyes were cold. Then he sat down in the only seat available, ignoring all the surprised stares. Right beside Ivan.

Professor Roma cleared his throat, and started talking about how Ancient Rome affected Italy , then got off topic by bragging about his grandson, as usual.

Ivan's palms were sweating. It was his Yao alright, no doubt. He got the same exact response ten years ago when he questioned Yao 's gender.

Why didn't he recognize him? And why wasn't he dead, like he thought he was?

After class, Ivan stopped Yao in the hall.

" Yao !" he cried. " Yao , where were you all this time?"

All he got in response was a blank stare.

"It's me," he said, holding his hands to his chest to emphasize his point. "Ivan, Ivan Bravinsky!"

"I'm sorry, aru," Yao told him. "But this is the first time we've met."

Yao hurriedly left, with Ivan staring at his retreating back.

" Yao ," Ivan said to no one in particular. "Почему ты не забыла меня?" *

* 'Why did you forget me' in Russian


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: I forgot to tell you guys, this was a piece of work I submited to my english teacher, well, the first two chapters were. Anyway, the best part of it was that she figured out that it was 'Yao + Ivan' in her words. Which made me love her temporaliy. It was awesome.**

"He doesn't remember me," Ivan whimpered, curled up in the fetal postition on Toris' bed.

Toris was as far from Ivan as his room allowed, nervously Im'ing Felicks through his phone.

"W-who doesn't remember you?" He asked. He really wished that Ivan would just go. Ivan had been his tormenter ever since they met. Though Eduard and Raivis were also on his list of frequent victims, Ivan liked teasing the poor Lithuanian the most.

"Yao. Yao why did you firget me?" Ivan cried. "I have never forgotten you, so why? Why?"

"Yao?" Toris asked, getting confused. "Yao Wang?"

Ivan nodded.

"Ivan, Yao just moved here," Toris told him. He _really _wished that he would shut himself up, but it was as if his mouth had a mind of it's own. He was going to regret this later, he just knew it.

"There's no way he can remember you if he's never met you."

Ivan gave him a hard, cold glare, making Toris cower back into his corner.

_'If looks could kill' _was all he could think.

"I knew Yao from elementary school," Ivan explained, getting a far off liik in his eyes. "We were best friends, comrades. But that was before he died."

"Died?" Toris yelled, forgetting his place again. "Ivan, are you sure thats the same Yao?"

"Positive," was his reply. "Do you remember when he slapped Alfred this morning?"

"Yeah," Toris said. "The whole school was talking about it. Why?"

"The first thing I said Yao was, 'Are you really a guy?'" Ivan explained. "Though he didn't just hit me, he went as far as pulling down his pants for further proof."

"We were kids," Ivan said at Toris' raised eyebrows. "I'm sure you did stupid things, too."

Toris shrugged in agreement.

"W-why are you telling me this, though?" he asked.

"I need to vent somehow," he told him, finally getting off the bed. Unfortunatley for Toris, he started moving toward the trembling brunette.

"You're talking to Felicks, right?" he asked, his huge frame nearly concealing Toris as he leaned over him.

"Y-yes!"

"We both know that he's the gossip queen of the school," Ivan stated in a threating voice. "If you breath one word about this to him, it's gonna be all over the school. Then you and me are going to have a little 'chat'. Got it?"

"Y-yes! Ivan! Sir!"

Ivan left the frantic Lithuanian, and into the street.

Intent on getting home before Natalia, he wasn't paying attention to where he was going.

"Ommph" Ivan muttered as he bumped into something.

"Aiyaa~" cried an all too famliar voice. "Watch where you're going, aru!"

"Yao!" Ivan exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I live near here," the smaller man sighed. "What are _you _doing here?"  
Ivan glance at Toris' house, then said, "I was visiting a 'friend'."

He then noticed the bags in Yao's hands.

"What's that?"

"Hmm?" Yao aked. "Oh, just some groceries, my turn cook tonight, aru."

"Here, let me help."

"No, no, I'm fine."

"Please," Ivan begged. "The sooner I go home, the sooner I see Natalia."

Yao gave him a confused look, then surendered one of the two bags.

They then headed several doors down to a red brick house.

Yao stopped Ivan on the porch.

"You can go home now," he said, taking back the bag from Ivan.

"See you tommorrow, then?" Ivan asked hopefully.

"Sure, aru," Yao answere, shutting the door on Ivan's face.

Ivan contemplated doing a fist punch in the air, but decided that would be to much likeAlfred, so he smiled his first real smile in ten years.

Then he made his way home, as slowly as possible.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Be thankful for a six day weekend, and the fact that i couldn't get to sleep last night until one in the morning. Otherwise, this wouldn't exist. Melodramatic, I know, but true.**

Ivan sat down, anticipating the moment that Yao would walk in. Yesterday evening, when he had got home, Natalia had locked onto him, and tried to force marraige on him, again.

The whole ordeal was very terrifying, so Ivan could hardly wait for Proffesor Roma's class the next day. Yao was there, and then, they would decide where to meet up after school.

Yao finally showed up after a few minutes, which, to Ivan, seemed like forever.

"Good morning!" Ivan said as soon as Yao arrived at his desk.

"Good morning," was Yao's reply. "I'm sorry I slammed the door on you yesterday, but my mom is paranoid, aru. I didn't want her to crazier than she usually is."

"It's okay," Ivan told him. "Alot worse has happened to me."

_Like losing you._

Yao looked like he wanted to ask what, but was too afraid to. Even if he did, Ivan probably wouldn't tell him. Not yet, anyway.

Seeing as there was nothing left to say, Yao leaned on his desk, pen in mouth, a bored look on his pale face.

Ivan stared forward, stiffer than a rod. He kepth glancing at his neighbor nervously.

_Askhimaskhimaskhimaskhim. _he pressured himself.

"Uh, Yao-"

"Hey!" cried Alfred, as he barged inbetween the boys. "How's my favorite communist?"

Ivan smiled, despite being slightly pissed at being interuppted.

"Hello Alfred," Ivan greeted, forcing as much of fake cheeriness into his voice as possible. "I thought I told you, Russia is no lovger communist."

"Whatever," Alfred brushed off. "Anyway, Francis has been feeling up Artie again. Last time he did, I warned him that he'd be sorry if he did it again."

"And what does this have to do with me?" Ivan asked. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yao perk up.

"I want you to scare Francis for me, maybe even send him to the hospital if you wish." was the American's answer.

Ivan was about to refuse when Yao spoke up.

"Is Artie your girlfriend?"

Alfred smirked, entertaining the thought.

"Yeah," he said, drawing it out. "'She's' my 'girl', and no French bastard is gonna lay his hands on 'her'."

"God dammit, git!" came a voice from across the room. All three looked up to see an angry Brit storming towards them.

"I told you _not _to call me you woman, seeing as I'm obviosly male!"

Yao made a perfect head desk as he realized that Alfred's 'girlfriend' was actually his boyfriend.

"And besides," he continued. "I don't recall asking for any help when it comes to Francis."

"Says the person who came crying to me afterwards." Alfred pointed out.

"That stays strictly between us," Arthur said sternly, his face growing red.

Their argueing went on for the nest few minutes. Ivan, finally fed up, slammed his hands on his desk, startling the others.

He put on a sugary sweet smile, and said in an innocent voice, "If I agree, will you two shut your ugly faces, and leave?"

Alfred was trying to yell some insult back before agreeing, but Arthur's hand was sucessfully keeping any idiotic words coming from his mouth.

"Do I get pictures?" Arthur asked. The idea of seeing Francis hurt beyond imagination was appealing to him.

"If you leave, yes," Ivan answered, wishing him away.

"Fine, c'mon, you git."

After they had left, Ivan took a fwe seconds to calm down, then turned towards Yao.

_Ask him now, before anymore interruptions, _he told himself.

"Yao, I was-"

The school bell rang, and Ivan, thinking that today would have the normal routine, tried to continue.

But Professor Roma had other plans.

"Okay, class," he said, starting right off the bat.

Now _he decides to be a good teacher. _Ivan griped to himself.

"Our beloved Principal germa told me that if I didn't teach something, I wouldn't get paid," he said, boredom dripping from every word.

"So I'm assigning you partners, and you have to write a report of one country. It's due in two weeks, yada yada yada. And I will be choosing your partners."

The whole class groaned.

"I'm not liking this any better than you guys," Roma whined. Then he started droning out partners.

"Toris, you'll be with Eliabeta. Arthur, you'll be with Roderich. Alfred, you'll be with Ivan."

"Objection!" Alfred yelled.

"You can't pair me with him," he said, pointing at Ivan. "We'll do nothing but fight."

"As much as it pains me to say this, but Alfred is right," Ivan agreed.

Roma looked between the two, then sighed.

"Fine, pick your partners," he said, giving up. "Means less work for me."

"Yao," Ivan said to his neighbor. "Would you like to be partners? We could do China if you want."

"Okay, aru," Yao said. "But I wanna know more of where you're from. Where are you from, by the way?"

"Russia," Ivan said, this time with a real smile. "Moscow, Russia."

"Russia," Yao said, getting used to the word.

Ivan just smiled. With meeting up taking care of, now all he had to do was ask about Yao's memory of him. Or rather, his lack of it.

But that could wait. Ivan was enjoying the moment.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yay~ ch. 4 ~ I honestly didn't think this would be done and up by now. Yay for my boredom. Also, Russia's birthday is December 30, but Russia's Independance Day is different. Don't ask me why, I don't know. AND! When I created this, I didn't realize till now that I made Belarus 10, oops.**

"So, when was modern day Russia founded?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Ivan asked. He chastised himself for ignoring Yao.

He had been daydreaming of him and Yao prancing in a field of sunflowers.

He also knew that it was strange for him to be imaging such a thing, bout he guessed it was simply because he had a long lost friend.

"I said, 'When was modern day Russia Founded?'" Yao repeated.

"August 24, 1991."

It was the third day of the project, and they were doing research at the public library.

Three days. Three days, and Ivan still didn't have the courage to ask Yao about his memory.

He looked around while Yao was jotting down information.

A navey blue book caught his eye. On the binding, in shiny silver lettering, was a single word.

_Asthma._

The word brought back the painful memory of their last day.

The bell, the clouds, and the flashing lights of the ambulance.

All of it.

"Yao," Ivan said, holding back years of emotion. "Do you have asthma?"

Yao stopped writing, suprised look on his face.

"I did," He answered. "But I grew out of it."

"Did that asthma do any life changing things to you?" Ivan inquired. "Say, ten years ago."

Yao sqirmed uncomfortably. He didn't like being questioned.

Ivan hated himself for it, but he needed to know. He deserved to know.

"Ten years ago," Yao started. "I woke up in a gospital bed. The only memories I had were my name, age and birthday, as well as things I liked.

"But I didn't know why. Such as, I knew I loved ice cream, but I couldn't remember ever having it."

That explained why he couldn't remember him. But it still hurt.

Yao's dissapearance left a huge gaping wound on his heart that never truely healed.

"Do you know why?"

"The doctors said it may because I had precious memories that I didn't want to lose," He explained. "So I unconciously locked them away. Though they didn't know if a five year old had such memories."

Ivan's heart filled with hope. If Yao's memories of them were gidden, that meant they could be found.

He was gonna leave it there, he didn't think it was a good idea to tell Yao about them just yet. To big of a bomb to drop so soon. But Yao went on.

"After that, my mother moved me far away. The whole time, she kept saying, 'It's the White Devil's fault'. She blamed something that didn't exist for my memory loss.

"It wasn't till later that I realized that she had lost her mind."

A dark cloud formed over Ivan's heart. Yao's mother blamed him for Yao's memory loss.

But it was true, he did make Yao lose his memory. Just because he wanted to play tag.

"For years," Yao whispered. "I've had nightmares of the devil mother blamed. Every night. Sometimes I still do."

He was clutching the info books so hard, Ivan thought they would break in half. Yao's almond eyes were filled with fear.

Ivan hesiantly placed his hand over Yao's. It was so slender that Ivan's large hand completly engulfed it.

"Yao," Ivan said, demanding his attention. "There never was, and never will be a white devil."

Back from his own hell, Yao's eyes refocused on Ivan's worried expression. His grip on the books loosened.

"Thanks," He beamed.

Then they both realized that Ivan's hand was still on top of Yao's.

They both sharply drew back their hands, a scarlet red painting their pale features.

"I think I should be going now," Yao said, hurriedly gathering his things. "Mom will get worried if I stay out to late."

"Wait," Ivan said, grabbing him by the nook of his arm. "If you want, I can help you get your memory back."

"Thanks," Yao told him. "But I gave that up a long time ago."

Then once again, he left with Ivan staring at his back.

Ivan wanted to kick something, cause someone pain. Anything to get over the pain of the wound Yao unknowingly reopened.

But somthing on the table stopped his violent thoughts.

Yao's cell phone.

He turned around to call Yao back, but he was long gone.

A michevous idea snuck it's way into his brain, and he slipped Yao's phone in his pocket.

Despite what Yao had said earlier, there was an inkling of hope in Ivan's cold heart.

Yao would get his memory back, and Ivan would do anything for it.

**A/N: I wouldn't expect any thing new till Saturday or Sunday, and it's not just because of school, it's because of a stupid assed schedule Mom put up for the computer, so my days are Wensday, Saturday and Sunday. Also, if you have any suggestions for this story, I'm willing to hear them. Bis spater! (Ha! finally I write some German here! Btw, it means later.)**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: This would have been up earlier, but my step-dad had to clean out the computer, and boy, was that thing dusty. Also, if you know how to pronounce Feliks' last name, could you tell me, 'cause it really bothers me.**

Ivan gathered up his stuff to leave, and ran smack dab into Feliks Łukasiewicz.

"Gotcha," He said, grinning like an idiot.

Ivan walked around him. If he acted like he had something to hide, Feliks would no doubt dig it up.

"Wait!" Feliks demanded, blocking his path.

Ivan scowled. Why couldn't he be frightened of him like the others?

"You like him, don't you," He said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"If you're talking about Yao, we're working on a project for Professor Roma." Ivan said.

"Excuses, excuses," Feliks brushed off. "I saw how you were looking at him, you totally couldn't take your eyes off of him."

"Really," Ivan said, not taking the bait.

"Like, duh. You were casting goo goo eyes at him the entire time."

"Feliks," Ivan said, getting impatient. "Just how long were you watching?"

"Since you got here," Feliks claimed. "Though I wasn't close enough to hear what you guys were saying."

A small headache formed in the back of Ivan's brain. That meant Feliks saw Ivan's hand on Yao's, and Yao leave hurriedly right after.

And that was going to be all over school without a doubt.

Ivan's phone rang, receiving glares from the librarians.

"Don't you dare foolow me," Ivan told the Pole, silently thankful for the interruption.

"Hello?" He answered, outside and alone, finally.

"Hey, what's up big guy?"  
Ivan nearly threw his phone across the street.

He left one idiot only to arrive at another.

"What do you want Alfred?"

"Just calling to say thanks." He said. "And to ask if you were in a good mood that day. Normally, you would beat the shit out of somebody, _then _hang them by their hair beside their flag."

That was true. Instead of committing the said crimes, Ivan simply kicked Francis' privates and gave him a black eye, things he knew he loved. Then hung the Frenchman from his hair next to the French flag.

"I guess so," Was his reply.

"Funny," Alfred said. "The only time you're ever in a good mood is when I'm in a bad one. Was it because of that new kid? What was his name again? Yow?"

"And what makes you think it's Yao?" Ivan asked, just about ready to hang up.

"Dude!" Al cried from the other end. "You've been staring at him all week! It's like he's fresh meat!"

"Are you jealous?" Ivan chided. Teasing Al would make him feel better. He hoped.

"Of what?" He snorted. "If you want Yao, you can have him. I have Artie."

"Well, I guess that's all I needed to know. I'll see you Monday."

He hung up before Al could get another word in.

At home, he laid in bed. Natalia had just gave up trying to get in, and Ivan was finally alone.

He went over the days events in his head.

_'You like him, don't you,' _Feliks repeated.

_'You've been staring at him for the past week!' _Alfred soon followed.

Hoping it would clear his head, Ivan got up to take a shower.

Luckily, he had the master bedroom, which meant he also had the master bath.

After their parents had died, Carlee gave Ivan the master bedroom so he wouldn't have to worry about Natalia while he was in the bathroom.

Stripped to nothing but his boxers, Ivan saw his only memento of Yao.

A jade pendant in the shape of a dragon hung from his pale neck.

With the pendant now exposed, so was the memory that came with it.

_"Yao, would you like to get married?" Ivan asked._

_"Married?"_

_"Yeah, like our mommy and daddy's. That way, we can spend forever together!"_

_"Okay!" Yao called enthusiastcly. "How do we get married?"_

_"Well, mommy says that first, we have to give each other something that will last a long time. Like a ring."_

_"Would a necklace do?"" Yao asked._

_"I guess so."_

_"Then here," Yao said, pulling off a piece of jewelry. He handed it to Ivan. _

_"I have one too," He said, showing off the same necklace. "Now we're married!"_

Ivan smiled at their naivety. But that memory proved what Ivan had been denying.

Well not anymore. He loved Yao, and there was nothing that any one, or anything could do about it.

Not even a forgotten memory.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is just a filler, I guess. It's Yao's view on what has happened so far. Also, I've watched the Hetalia Movie. I had to watch it raw, though. But I can say this, the image of the Baltic Nations doing the ballet in white tutus will never leave my mind. Never.**

"Okay, this is Yao Wang," Proffessor Roma said to the class. "He's the new transfer you've been hearing about for weeks, so everyone be good to him."

Yao expected some comments, he just hoped that they wouldn't be the usual.

" That's a _guy?_" asked a blonde boy.

Nope, not this time.

Yao's hand shot out, and backhanded him. His glasses fell on the floor, making his blue eyes clearer.

"I'd be careful of what you say if I were you, aru," he said, plastering a smile on his face.

Leaving him in shock, he at down in the far corner, next to a large man, with hair so blonde, it was almost silver.

He would much rather sit somewhere else. This man sent chills up his spine. But this was the only seat availble.

Yao took notes during the first few minutes of class, but stopped when Roma started talking about his grandson, Feliciano.

He felt the man next to him fidget, and again, and again.

He hoped he wasn't always like this. It was getting on his nerves.

After class, the same boy approached him.

"Yao!" he cried. "Yao, where were you all this time?"

Yao just stared at him. What else could he do?

"It's me," he said, pressing on. "Ivan, Ivan Bravinsky!"

"I'm sorry, aru," he told him. "But this is the first time we've met."

He left the crazed man as fast as his legs could go.

But there was something about him, he just couldn't pust his finger on it.

^o^

Yao walked as fast as he could. If he was even a second late, his mother would freak.

He was in such a hurry, he collided with some unseen object, making him fall on his butt.

"Ai yaah~" he cried. "Wtch where you're going, aru!"

"Yao!" exclaimed the other person. To his dismay, Yao saw that it was Ivan. "What are you doing here?"

"I live near here," he sighed, trying his best not to take off running. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I was visiting a 'friend'," he said. The way he said friend made him wonder, though.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing at the bags in Yao's hands.

"Hmm? Oh, just some groceries, my turn to cook tonight," he said, careful not to mention the pills for his mother.

No one needed to know that she was insane yet.

"Here, let me help," Ivan offered.

"No, no, I'm fine."

"Please," Ivan begged. "The sooner I go home, the sooner I see Natalia.

Yao was confused, but Ivan seemed so desperate, that he gave up one of the bags.

On his porch, Yao stopped Ivan.

"You can go home now," he said. If his mom caught on glimpse of Ivan, it was up and at 'em, again.

"See you tomorrow, then?" Ivan asked.

"Sure, aru," Yao said. _'Just go away already!' _he sillently screamed, shutting the door on him.

"Honey, are you okay?" Yao heard his mother call.

"I'm fine, aru," he yelled back.

While working on supper, for some strange reason, his heart was full of warmth.

^o^

The next day, when Ivan caught sight of him, Yao aplogised for shutting the door on him.

But that was as far as it got.

He thought he heard his name, but the loud boy he met yesterday barged in, and started talking to Ivan.

He grew intrested in the conversation. Apparently, some other stundent was hitting on his lover, and wanted Ivan to beat him up.

"Is Artie your girlfriend?" he asked, wondering who would want to date him.

Alfred, that's what Ivan called him, anyway, smirked, and Yao began to regret his question.

"Yeah," he said. "'She's' my 'girl'. And no French Bastard's gonna lay his hands on'her'."

"You git!" Yao heard. Looking up, he saw a boy with the biggest eyebrows he had ever seen coming at them."

They started argueing, making Yao realize that this was Alfred's 'girlfriend'.

After bickering for a while, until Ivan slammed his hands on the desk, making Yao jump.

"If I agree," he said. "Will you two shut your ugly faces, and leave?"

Yao couldn't help but feel frightened that Ivan agreed to hurt someone. The boy was trouble, he knew, but something told him that he would be seeing more of him.

He started withdrawing, constantly reminding himself what had just had happened.

Before he knew it, he had agreed to be Ivan's partner, and requested that they'd study _his _country for the stupid project.

Yao was going nuts, and he didn't know why.

^o^

It was the third day of the project, and Ivan was spacing out.

That is, until he started asking about Yao's personal life.

"Yao," he said. "Do you have asthma?"

The question caught Yao off guard. How did he know about that?

"I did, but I grew out of it."

"Did that asthma do any life changing things to you?" he asked. "Say, ten years ago."

Yao squirmed. How did Ivan Know so much about his past?

"Ten years ago, he said. "I wode up in a hospital bed. The only memories I had were my name, age, and birthday."

Yao spilled eveything. He couldn't help himself. It had been years since he talked about the incindent, and it just flooded out.

Then he started talking about the White Demon. Old nightmares had returned.

That was all he could see, a white demon. Capturing him, and this time, not getting out alive.

Ivan's voice brought him back to reality.

"Yao," he said. "There never was, and never will be a white demon."

"Thanks," Yao smiled, until he saw Ivan's hand on his.

Jerking his hand away, he started gathering his stuff.

"I think I should be going now, Mom will be worried if I stay out to late," he half-lied.

He left, scared that Ivan would notice his red face.

He was halfway out the door when he realized that he left his cell phone.

Well he certainly wasn't going back for it. That meant seeing Ivan again, and Yao still had to figure out why he was so embarresed in the first place.

**A/N: Because school is making me so damn busy, I don't know when the next update will be. Hopefully soon. **


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm suprised that this came up so early. I've been having a writer's block all day, so I've been watching Rochu amvs, so maybe that's it. Anyway, enjoy!**

Ivan leaned back in bed. What did he do to deserve to be so bored on a Friday night?

Toris was out shopping with Feliks, and Eduard was 'studying' with Raivis, which put them out of the picture.

He knew that Alfred was throwing another party, but once again, he wasn't invited.

Ivan started dialing Yao's number in hopes that he'll pick up, but felt stupid when he realized that he still had his cell phone, which was how he got the number in the first place.

He was sure it was a privacy crime, but that meant nothing at all. Just scratch off another broken law on his list.

Suddenly, he remembered that he knew where Yao lived.

He gravved his favorite scarf, and scrawled a quick note to Carlee, leaving it on his desk.

Since Natalia was home, he snuck out the window, and ran through the night.

^o^

When he arrived, he heard crashes and yelling in a language he didn't understand from within the house.

Worried for Yao, Ivan was about to knock, but the door had already opened.

"Wǒ huì huílái de shíhou nǐ qīngxǐng,*" Yao shouted into the house, failing to notice Ivan.

Clinging to his hand was a small brown haired boy who had similar eyebrows to Arthur.

"Yao," Ivan said, making the Chinese man jump at least a foot. "What's wrong?"

Relieved that it was just Ivan, Yao made one request, "Take me to the nearest park."

^o^

Ivan led Yao to a playground a few blocks away.

Noticing Ivan's frequent glances, Yao introduced the boy at his side.

"This is Hong," he told him. "My little brother. Say hi to Ivan, Hong."

"Ni hao, Ivan," he greeted, his voice monotone.

On a closer look, he saw that Hong was around Natalia's age, but who knew with asians.

Hong played in the sandbox while Yao and Ivan sat on the swings.

"Here you go," Ivan said, handing over Yao's cell phone. "You left it at the library."

"Thanks, aru."

"I know it's not my place to ask, but what was going on back there?" Ivan wondered out loud.

Yao looked down, etching in the gravel with his sandal. "After the incident, mom started drinking. She hasn't stopped since."

"Hmm," Ivan muttered, remembering that night. No, if he remembered, who knew who'd be hurt.

"I told her that'd we'd be back, but we need a place to stay," Yao said, staring into space. "I guess I'll call Kiku and ask to spend the night there."

Ivan nearly fell back. Kiku? That Japanese kid who was always hanging around Alfred?

Not on his watch.

Yao was a few feet away, holding his phone to his ear.

Ivan snuck behind him, and hung up his cell, just as the other end picked up.

Wrapping his arms around Yao, Ivan whispered into his ear, "There's no need to bother Kiku, you can crash at my place."

Yao had no strength to refuse, his face a bright red.

Stopping long enough to grab Hong, Ivan dragged Yao back to his home.

^o^

Natalia immediatly spotted him as they walked through the door.

"Brother!" she cried merrily, running towards him. But his ice cold glare stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Yao is staying with me tonight," He told her. "So I expect you to be a good girl, da?"

He didn't wait for an answer, pushing Yao and Hong to his bedroom.

Yao was obviously more tired than he expected, crahing on Ivan's bed with Hong immediatly.

Smirking, Ivan covered them up, and patted Hong on his head.

He pulled a couple blankets from his closet, and laid them on the floor. There was no more room on the bed.

He stopped what he was doing to stare at Yao. He looked so peaceful, as if nothing had happened that night.

Unable to stop himself, he leaned over, and kissed him. It was all he could do to pull back.

"Хорошая ночь*, Yao," he whispered. "Я люблю тебя*"

**Wǒ huì huílái de shíhou nǐ qīngxǐng- I'll come back when you're sober.**

**Хорошая ночь- Good night.**

**Я люблю тебя- I love you**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm literally pushing back school work for this. I can't think of anything for it any way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.**

Yao was dreaming. How else could he explain the five year old Yao before him.

He was in a school playground. He was sure that he was never there before, yet it looked so familiar.

His younger self was talking to something, but nothing was there.

"Yep, it was bigger than this," his younger self said, spreading out his arms.

"Maybe I can take you with me next time, -," he continued.

Yao was positive that he said a name, but he couldn't hear it. Small Yao said it again, but Yao's ears failed to pick it up. Who was he talking to? And why couldn't he hear a single name?

The dream melted away, like ice-cream on a hot day, and Yao awoke to an unfamiliar ceiling.

Was his dream a memory? Something told him yes.

^o^

"Good morning," Ivan greeted Yao as he sat up.

"Morning," Yao said back, clutching his head.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to take a shower," he said. All of a sudden, he noticed that the spot next to him was empty. Frantically, he looked around. No Hong. "Where's Hong?"

"He's downstairs, eating."

"Oh," Yao sighed, relieved. "You don't mind me taking a shower, do you?"

"Not at all," Ivan told him, grabbing some clothes from his wardrobe. "They might be a little big on you, but here's a change of clothes."

"Thank you, aru."

When Yao had shut the door to the master bath, Ivan felt a small tug on his scarf.

Looking down, he saw that Hong had come back into the room.

"Do you love Yao?" he asked innocently.

"What makes you think that?" Ivan questioned, wondering how he found out.

" You haven't taken you're eyes off of him since las night."

Was it really that easy to notice? If so, why hasn't Yao notice, too?

"Yes, I do love Yao," Ivan told him, crouching down to his level. "But we're the only ones who know that, got it?"

Hong nodded slightly, then said, "You know, Yao loves you, too."

Ivan comtemplated this when Yao came out. "Do you have a belt?"

Ivan's clothes proved to be much to large, threating to fall off of Yao's shoulders, until he tossed him a belt.

"I'll wash these and give them back Monday," Yao told him downstairs. He took Hong's hand, and left the house.

"Ivan," Carlee said, watching Yao leave. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Da," Ivan answered, tears forming around his eyes. "But he doesn't remeber me at all."

And for the first time in ten years, he allowed himself to cry, while his older sister held him lovingly.

Natalia, horrorfied that her big strong brother was crying like a child, ran to her room.

"What should we tell her?" Carlee asked, watching her leave.

"You tell her what had happened then," Ivan said, drying his eyes, embarrased.

"Are you sure? It is your story."

"Yes. She won't listen to me, not after that."

Carlee nodded, and ran to her baby sister.

^o^

Carlee arrived to a scene of destruction.

Natalia had torn everything apart, and was now screaming into a pillow.

"Bella," Carlee said, using Natalia's old nickname. "Let's talk."

"He doesn't love me," she hissed, throwing down the pillow. "For ten years, I've shown him nothing but affection. And what does he repay me with? The fact he's happy with some other person."

Carlee drew her into a hug. "He loves you," she said. "It's just hard to show sometimes."

"Then why did he glare at me?" Bella asked. "All his love went to that new kid. I've known brother longer than him, why does he get brother's affection?"

"Ten years ago," Carlee said. "Before you were born, Ivan had a very good friend. They were like twins, never apart. But this friend got very sick. He died soon after.

"Then you were born, and we moved here. All of a sudden, Ivan found out that his dead friend was alive. Bella, that friend is Yao."

Natalia let it sink in, and went back downstairs to her brother.

When he saw her, he immiediatly his behind the couch.

"You can be friends with Yao," she told him. "But you will still marry me."

"Bella," he said, running to hug her. "I love you!"

He kissed the top of her head, right on top of her bow, and ran to his secret base. Where he went when he was really happy or depressed.

Bella touched her bow, blushing.

"See, he does love you," Carlee said from the doorway.

"Yeah," Bella whispered. "I guess he does."

**A/N: As for the next chapter, I'm guessing Wensday or Saturday. Hard to tell. I hate my computer schedule.**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: I love it when I'm home alone, it's the only reason you're reading this now. Other than that, I killed my brain writing this, I was having a writer's block, and I had to kick my procastinator butt in gear. So enjoy the newest chapter.**

Yao sighed, it had been a long day.

When they got home, he found his mom passed out on the couch. She had been drinking all night.

He dragged her to her room, and tucked her in bed. Which really wasn't that hard, she was as light as a feather, and he stronger than the average man, thanks to some training in the martial arts.

He spent the rest of the day babysitting the neighborhood kids. While trying not wake the train wreck upstairs. Not an easy thing to do, especially when Hong got ahold of firecrackers.

So when they all left, he tried to take a nap.

He couldn't sleep a wink. His once lost memory was on repeat, and Yao couldn't find the stop button.

Unable to keep it to himself, he looked through his contacts on his cell for someone to tell. There was only three, home, Kiku, and Yong Soo. But there was a fourth one.

_Ivan Bravinsky._

Yao's mind reeled. Ivan was into his cell without his permission, and added himself. That had to be a privacy crime.

But this revelation disappeared when he saw he had eleven missed messages from Kiku. He would expect that from Yong Soo, but Kiku? He wondered what he could want.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kiku," Yao asid. "Just calling to ask if everything was all right. You left a bunch of voicemails."

"I was going to ask you that," Kiku told him. "You called last night, and then hung up. Are you okay?"

Yao suddenly remembered last night. Ivan's arms around him, and his warm breath as he whispered into his ear.

His face went red as he realized what he was thinking.

"Uh, I just needed a place to stay the night," Yao told him. "But a friend offered his place. Sorry for worrying you."

"It's fine," Kiku assured him. "If you don't mind, could you tell me who your friend is?"

"Ivan," Yao said. "Ivan Bravinsky."

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air.

"Ivan's not really someone you want as a friend," Kiku stated.

"Why not?" Yao asked, getting seriously annoyed. Sure, he violeted his privacy, but he was a wonderful friend. He was sweet and kind. He even gave up his own bed.

"He has this childish delight in cruelity," Kiku told him. He sounded genuinely concerned, but it was hard to tell over the phone. "All the major injuries in this school come from him, and he enjoys it."

"I don't believe you," Yao said. "Ivan has never taken pleasure in such things."

He hung up before Kiku could get another word in.

Yao layed in bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn't even get the chance to tell Kiku about his memory. The atmosphere was pressing down on him, he needed to breath.

Dropping Hong off at a neighbors, he went walking around the island.

It was beautiful, untouched by man, for the most part. The forest were hardly touched, and the ocean didn't have a single piece of trash within.

He took a narrow trail that had been cut in the woods, and was so raptured by the beauty of it, he ended up alone and lost.

Paniced, he walked in the direction he thought the trail was, only to end up in a field full of, sunflowers?

^o^

Ivan was reading, not really paying attention to the book, something about the acopylaspe, when he heard someone in his garden.

"Who's there?" he called out, grabbing his pipe. If anyone hurt his sunflowers, he was going to beat them senseless.

"Ivan? Is that you?" Yao asked, coming into view.

"Yao!" Ivan exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was walking, exploring the island, but I got lost," Yao told him. "What is this place?"

"It's my 'secret base'," Ivan grinned. "It's where I go when I'm frustrated, or happy. Or just trying to get away."

"It's beautiful," Yao breathed, lightly touching a flower that was roughly his height. "I'm surised that so many a still in bloom."

"Anywhere else, they'd would be gone by now," Ivan said. "Because Seychelles is so far south, and her climate so stable, they stay longer."

"Amazing."

"The best part about this place is that it's so hidden," Ivan said, throwing his arms wide. "The best hiding spot on the island. You're the only other person who knows about it."

"Really?"

"Yep," Ivan smiled. "Not even the locals. Now tell me your secret."

"Huh?"

Well, it's only fair," he said. "A secret for a secret."

Yao contemplated this, then with a determined look, he said. "Last night, I regained a memory."

Ivan's heart stopped. He was expecting little stuff, like he still wet the bed, not a memory.

"Well, only part of it," Yao admitted. "But I know it's mine."

Yao told him what he remembered, not sparing any detail.

Ivan remembered that day. Yao's mom had taken him to an Egyptian museum that was in town. He was telling Ivan how big a sarcophogaus was.

Ivan never did get to go.

"So I decided to take up your offer," Yao continued.

"What?" Since when did Ivan make an offer to Yao?

"You will help me find my memories. There are more questions than answers to that memory," Yao said with conviction. "Just who was I talking to, and why do my memories return now?"

Ivan smiled. He had been wondering how he get Yao's memory back. That's hard to do when Yao didn't want his memories. Now he had Yao's help.

Gripping his pendant, he told Yao, "I have an idea."

**A/N: I might update tomorrow, but I need a new notebook, so I'm going to have to ask my Step-Dad if he has extras. I think he does. And that should tell how full my tablet is. It has 70 sheets, and over half of it is fan-fiction. (I used for English last year, so it's partially filled with that crap.) So yeah, you may or may not have a new chapter tomorrow, depending on if I remember to ask.**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry, I was playing snake on youtube, and yes that is possible, and it effing fun. Anyway, woo-hoo! Double digits! enjoy the 10th chapter of Forgotten Memory.**

Yao watched Ivan pull a pendant off of his neck and hand it to him.

He breath was stuck in his throat. A jade dragon stared back at him.

Pulling out his own dragon, he compared them. They were exactly the same.

"Why?" Yao asked. "Why do you have this? Mom told me that only two were made. We had both, but one disapeared. Why is it with you?"

"Because you gave it to me," Ivan told him. "Ten years ago. You were talking to me in your memory."

"That's impossible!" Yao cried, clutching the pendants to his chest. "That was ten years ago! There's no way!"

"'That's impossible'," Ivan said, smiling sadly. "I'm the last person you want to say that to."

Yao couldn't speak, couldn't even move. How in the world was Ivan part of his past? It had been ten years, and Yao had traveled all over the world. It was unlikely that two people who didn't remember each other would meet again in a different country.

But still, it made sense. Ivan knew about his asthma, and that something had happened ten years ago. He even had the missing pendant.

"How do I get out of here?" Yao asked. "Mom will be up soon, and I don't want to leave her alone to long."

"But Yao," Ivan pleaded. "What about your memory? Us? I thought you wanted your memory back?"

"I do, now more than ever," Yao told him. "But you can't drop a bomb like that so suddenly."

Looking like a hurt puppy, Ivan led Yao out of the garden.

Walking home, Yao knew that he was right. Long ago, they had been friends, but Yao couldn't remember.

He couldn't put a face to that distant memory, and it killed him inside.

^o^

Ivan watched Yao leave. How many times has he seen that back?

Sall and slender, but full of pride and confidence.

He was tired of seeing Yao's back, he wanted to see his face. Wanted to see him coming towards him, not walking away.

But Ivan was sure that fate would never let him have Yao.

He shouldn't have told the truth so quickly, he should've taken it slowly, step by step. But instead, he had dropped it all at once.

Ivan walked home, feeling cold and alone, not caring if Natalia found him and latched herself on.

Alone is his room, he waited for his prescious night to come.

^o^

"We're home!" Yao called out.

He probably spent at least half an hour apologizing to the neighbors. Somehow, Hong had gotten ahold of some more firecrackers, and nearly burned down the house.

"Don't yell, for crying out loud!" his mom cried from the kitchen. Another bad hangover.

"Sorry," he told her, passing by.

Noticing the time, he tucked Hong in bed.

"Yao," he heard his little brother say. "Ivan is a good match for you."

He was asleep before Yao could question him.

Alone in his room, he grabbed Shinatty-chan, a stuffed cat he had gotten from a nurse ten years ago. He knew it was weird for a fifteen year old boy to like such a girly thing, but it was too cute. Cuddling up with it, he went over the past week in his mind.

"Shinatty-chan," he said, burying his face into the plushie. "I wish I knew what to do."

He fell asleep, fully clothed and desperatly clinging to an old stuffed animal.

^o^

"Carlee," Natalia said. "Something's wrong with Ivan."

"What makes you say that?" Carlee asked.

"He left his door unlocked, he didn't even notice me when I came in. Like a bug on the wall."

"I wonder why?" Carlee wondered aloud.

"It's Yao," Bella seethed. "Brother hasn't been the same since he came along."

"It does seem to be Yao," Carlee agreed. "Let's go talk to him in the morning. And I said talk to him, Bella, not hurt him."

Cursing, Natalia got ready for bed. While Ivan sat in blissful darkness.

**A/N: May be a new chapter tomorrow, depends if I'm in the mood to write. I feel like I should say more, but I don't know what.**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: This should've been up Sunday, but I wasn't able to get back on. But it's here now, so be happy.**

_Ding Dong..._

"I got it!" Yao yelled, making sure to answer the door before his mom.

He opened it to find a big-breasted woman and a little girl glaring icicles at him.

_'Ivan's sisters'_ he remembered.

"Yes?"

"We need to talk, it's about Ivan." The older one said.

Yao glanced back into the house, then slipped outside, closing the door silently behind him.

"What about him?" he asked them, "Carlee and Natalia, right?"

"That's right," Natalia answered, still glaring at him.

"Look, he hasn't been the same since last night," Carlee told him. "He didn't even eat breakfast this morning."

"What does this have to do with me?" Yao asked, knowing perfectly well that it had everything to do with him.

"Look here," Natalia hissed, sharply pulling Yao down to her height, "I may not know just _why _he's so depressed, but I _do _know that it's because of you. And if _you_ don't fix him, I'll fix _you_." She gave his collar another sharp tug before letting go, "You better watch your sorry ass."

"Bella, language, Carlee pleaded, "and I thought we said we wouldn't use violence," she sighed.

Natalia intensified her glare tenfold, and Yao wondered why he was so afraid of a ten year old.

"Sorry about that," Carlee smiled sweetly. "Bella is very, _very _protective of Ivan. But we need to know why Ivan's acting so out of character. He won't talk to us, so we came to you."

"Ivan..." Yao started, wondering why he was telling them. Sure they were his sisters, but this was between him and Ivan. "Ivan told me that he was the one missing from my memories. I overreacted and ran away from the problem... And him."

"Ahh," Carlee said, "No wonder he's so down. The only good thing that happens in ten years and you denie him."

"Huh?" Yao asked, curious to hear more.

"It started ten years ago, when you 'died'." She told him, sitting down on a porch chair. Yao decided to sit, too, getting a strange feeling that it was going to be a long story.

"I died?"

"Yes. It was as if you vanished. One day you're here, and the next... It's like you never existed...

"About a month after you 'died', father decided that Ivan was too weak, so he sent him to our grandfather in Siberia. He stayed for a year.

"Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do. When he came back, he was stronger, but he could never fit in with normal kids ever again. Tell me Yao," She looked tore her gaze from the her hands and looked him in the eye, "have you ever seen a six year old look so happy with a knife in his hands?"

The mental image made Yao shiver, sending chills up and down his back, despite the fact that it was so hot out.

"Father decided it wasn't safe there anymore, so we moved again. The third time in my life, though I was only eight at the time.

"Our dad drank sometimes, but suddenly, he started drowning himself in vodka."

"Carlee!" Natalia yelled at her sister, "you're not seriously telling him that story, are you?"

"I'm afraid he needs to hear it," Carlee patted her shoulder, trying to calm the younger one down, "it's the only way he can tell just how important he is in Ivan's life.

"Anyway," She said, continuing her story, "one day, dad came home, even more drunk than usual. He grabbed his gun and pointed it at Ivan.

"'This all happened 'cause of you' he said. 'I was happy there.' Apparently, the best times of his life was in Belarus, where we lived when you 'died'. Then he shot at Ivan. His only son. Luckily, Elena, Bella's mother, saved him. But at the cost of her own life.

"Distraught over what he had just done, out father committed suicide. Right then and there in front of us.

"That was five years ago, and after all this time, you are the first truly great thing to happen to us."

Yao was thinking of a response when a sharp pain in his head brought him to his knees. In an instant, he felt Carlee next to him, making sure he was okay, but her cries went unanswered.

It was another memory. Same place, same scenario. The biggest difference now was that there was a fuzzy outline of a child that he was playing with.

As it ended, he heard Carlee's frantic cries; "-ao! Yao! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he assured her, getting up, "I think I just need some rest."

"But what about Ivan?" Natalia shouted, pulling on his sleeve.

"I'll talk to him, at school" Yao assured her, "but I think it's best for both of us if I'm more refreshed."

Natalia hesitated, but nodded in agreement. At that point, she and Carlee left his house.

Once upstairs, Hong stopped him in the hall, holding onto the stuffed panda he got for Christmas. "Who was that?" he asked.

"Ivan's sisters," Yao told him, about to walk away, but remembered something. "Speaking of Ivan, what did you mean by Ivan was a good match for me?"

"It comes with knowing you my whole life," Hong said, flashing a rare smile, "you haven't been the same since you met him. Not to mention you say his name constantly in your sleep–"

Blushing, Yao ran to his room and buried his face into his pillow, not bothering with hearing the rest of his brother's explination.

He didn't love Ivan. Did he?

**A/N: As for the next chapter, I don't know when it'll be up. I haven't felt like writing all week, but possibilities are that I'll be bored enough to write it by Saturday.**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: This took longer than expected, but that's okay. Seriously, does anyone know how to pronouch Feliks' last name?**

Yao walked in Monday morning on pins and needles.

It didn't help that Ivan had an ominous aura around him. If he noticed him, he couldn't tell.

"Ivan," he said, making sure that the Russian heard him, "we need to talk... About Saturday."

"About what?" he asked. "About how you obviously don't remember me?"

"Well..." He hesitated, "yes and no" Yao told him. "We just need to clear up some things."

Ivan looked at Yao, long and hard. He felt as if those beautiful violet eyes were looking into his soul.

"We'll talk at the sunflower field," he said. "These walls have ears."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Feliks Łukasiewicz," Ivan declared, leaning back in his seat. "The gossip queen at this school. Anything sacred in these hallowed has eventually reach his majesty's ears."

"I'm sorry, aru," Yao said. "Did you say 'his'? 'Cause from the sound of it, you're talking about a girl, not a boy."

"Nope, Feliks is 100% male. Physically, anyway," Ivan sighed. "But he's a cross-dresser, and acts so much like a girl, he might as well be one."

"Oh."

An awkward silence engulfed them. Luckily Professor Roma stumbled in and started them on their project, and the silence evaporated into thin air.

Yao couldn't be sure, but from the way he occasionally slurred his words, and tripped over nothing, Yao would say that their teacher was drunk. But he figured that if Roma was a drinker, he had his beer after school, not during it.

^o^

Ivan sat on the bench he salvaged from the dumpster. He couldn't believe that someone would toss a perfectly good bench. But you know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

After he cleaned it up a bit, he placed it in his garden, making the flower viewing a little more comfortable.

But instead of enjoying the view and relaxing, he was staring into space, tense with apprehension.

Yao wanted to talk. Either to make things better, or to cut all ties with him.

He hoped it wasn't the latter.

Suddenly, Yao was sitting beside him; "Ivan, I'm sorry. It was just to much for me. All of that within one day, I just couldn't handle it."

Yao was _apologizing_ to him_. _It wasn't supposed to go like that.

"No, I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I was so excited that you remembered _something, _that I dropped my burden onto you."

Yao just sat there, thinking, "Let's just say that it was both our faults, aru."

"Fine by me," Ivan smiled, "as long as I can see you."

"You're strange," Yao laughed. "Speaking of strange, your sister, Carlee, told me something that confused me."

Ivan's face was a question mark, but cleared up with realization; "So that's where they were yesterday," he said to himself. "Remind me to thank them when I get home. So what did she tell you?"

"Well," Yao hesitated, realizing that he would have to tell Ivan that Carlee had told him his life story. "When Carlee was speaking about you, she mentioned that Elena was Natalia's mother, wasn't she your mom, too?"

"I take it that Carlee was not talking about a day in the park, was she," Ivan said, his face a mask.

Yao nodded, afraid of what would happen next.

"No, she wasn't my mother," Ivan told him. "But she was like one. My father's job had him moving all over the place. He met Carlee's mother in Ukraine, but their marriage ended in a horrible divorce. He moved back to Russia, and met my mom. She ended up running off with the guy next door after I was born. He married Elena in Belarus, and she was the mother that Carlee and I never had. We are related by blood, but we're only half siblings."

"I'm sorry," Yao said.

"For what?" Ivan asked. "That my father had a horrible love life?"

"That they died."

"It couldn't be helped," he said, his heart made of stone, "in ruining his happiness, I killed his wife, and him."

"No!" Yao almost shouted, infuriated that his friend would say something like that, "You didn't do anything! He was a drunk, and Elena was only protecting you."

"Thank you for trying to comfort me," Ivan smiled sadly.

Suddenly, Yao leaned forward, trapping Ivan's lips in a passionate, albeit rushed, kiss. With the sunset and the flowers, it seemed like a perfect end. Like one of those romance movies that Feliks always watched.

But apparently, Yao had different thoughts about it.

As soon as he initiated it, Yao pulled away, "Let's pretend that never happened," he stated, his face as red as the setting sun.

"Okay," Ivan agreed, brokenhearted. He wasn't losing Yao again.

Yao wanted him to forget about the kiss, but he wouldn't. He would cherish the memory of Yao's lips on his forever. And if anyone asked, he'll lie and say it never happened.

For _Yao's_ sake.

^o^

Weeks passed, months flew by.

Yao learned many things at his strange new school.

Such as if he wanted to get through the day with his virginity intact, never be alone with Francis. If you didn't want see men in positions you won't be able to unsee, don't get stuck in a room with Elizabeta and Kiku. Or to never stay when Alfred and Arthur are bickering, because it usually ended up in a total make-out session.

But of all these strange bits of information, the last one was the worst.

It came in the beginning of December, in the form of a blank dvd addressed to him.

He shouldn't have put it in the dvd player, he shouldn't have pressed play.

He should have tossed it in the trash, for it shattered the fragile lie he was living on.

Life with Ivan was never going to be the same.

Not with what this video was showing him.

**A/N: And it's only going to go down-hill from here. I know I'm going to have some of you screaming at me, yes, I'm looking at you, KnighttheCat. Thanks to fujikawaii10346 for beta'ing the latest chapters. **


	14. Chapter 13

Yao felt as if he was going to throw up.

Ivan was on his screen. But he wasn't smiling, or laughing, at least not the way Yao had always seen him. He was hurting another, beating them senseless. He had no idea how the fight started, but he knew who would win. Ivan was a formidable enemy.

When blood escaped the victim's mouth, Yao's stomach could handle no more. He got rid of his breakfast in the bathroom.

Ivan was being detained by the police while the other was being loaded into an ambulance when he returned from emptying his stomach.

The camera zoomed in on Ivan's face, showing his pure joy of the kill.

Yao's blood ran cold. He remembered telling Kiku that Ivan took no pleasure in such things.

But Kiku knew Ivan longer than he did, if even by rumors. He knew what Ivan was like, Yao just didn't want to believe him.

He believed it now, he had no choice. The video wouldn't allow him to deny the truth.

He felt angry, scared... and hurt. Betrayed by the fact that the life he had been living the past few months was an illusion.

The video ended, the screen filled with snow.

Snow. It reminded him of Ivan.

^o^

Ivan sat in his field, waiting for Yao. They met up there everyday after school. It didn't even matter if there was nothing to do, or mountains of homework. It was their special meeting spot. Where Ivan told stories of the past, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Yao would remember.

It was the time of day Ivan looked forward to. Every day.

But today was different. Yao had been cold and aloof, like he was avoiding him.

Something dropped in his lap... A DVD. Looking up he saw his dear friend, on the verge of tears.

"Yao!" he exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

"You lied!" He shouted, "The Ivan you told me about. The one I hung out with. He was sweet and kind. The DVD told me a different story."

"What do you mean?" Ivan asked, confused.

"Last night, I received that video," Yao told him, pointing at the disk, "I saw what you did to that boy."

Ivan understood then. Someone had filmed one of his fights, and sent it Yao. Now the boy wanted nothing to do with him.

The frost in his heart that had just begun to thaw from, came a new anger.

"You think I wanted to be like that!" he suddenly burst out, shaking Yao, "You think I wanted to spend everyday for the past ten years angry and bitter, because you died? No! Not one bit!"

Yao was crying now. Horrified at what he had just done, Ivan let go of the poor man, and buried his face in his hands; "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." He cried, "Just please, don't leave me."

Yao flinched as Ivan reached for him, afraid of what would happen. But Ivan just touched his face gently.

"These past few months have been the best in my life," he whispered, holding Yao's face in his hands, "please, stay."

Ivan kissed him, forcing his lips onto Yao's. The smaller man tried to resist, but in the end he gave in and began kissing back.

It felt too good to stop.

Realizing what was happening, Yao pushed Ivan away.

"I can't forgive you that easily," he said. Sadness and... Another unidentifiable emotion was in his eyes, "I'm sorry..."

^o^

Ivan went through his closet, searching for something.

'_There. In the back'_

He fished out an old vodka bottle his father hadn't touched.

Carlee thought that she had emptied the house of alcohol, but Ivan had a few bottles in a place she would never look. She hadn't been in their parent's bedroom since they died.

Smiling grimly, Ivan opened the bottle to drown himself in his own sympathy.

Just like the his father before him.

**A/N: And that's what I meant by downhill, and the ball is still rolling. Next chapter may come tomorrow. Emphasis on may.**


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, spring vacation, my family went to Alabama, so I had no time what so ever to write or update.**

The next day Ivan sat in the usual place in the lunch room: by the windows, so he could see the world pass him by... While he waited for his special someone.

But Yao walked right past him, choosing to sit next to Kiku instead.

Ivan filled with a bitter jealousy, though he know there was no reason to be so.

Remembering the mention of the Asian's name, Ivan had asked about Yao's relationship to Kiku.

_"He's a relative of a sort," Yao had told him. "Somewhere in our family tree, we share a relative, but distant enough for us to date without any problems. But I find it awkward, so I won't be kissing cousins anytime soon."_

Ivan's heart hurt, and it didn't help that he had a hangover. That was the last time he drank on a school night.

To think that all of his pain was caused by one man, but that's just life, he guessed.

"Hiya, Ivan," Alfred yelled, slapping Ivan on the back. "How's it hanging?"

"Alfred, could you please stop shouting," Ivan hissed, clutching his forehead. "And since that dense nutshell you call a brain doesn't process things, it's not 'hanging' very well."

"Geez, sorry," Alfred said, "if I knew that you had a hangover, I wouldn't have come over."

"Who said that I had a hangover?" Ivan seethed. About now was when his aura came out, but the idiotic American would just ignore it. Again.

"Dude, I'm dating Arthur," Alfred told him. "I know a hangover when I see one."

Ivan knew that he couldn't fool Alfred about this, he had seen it to much. He didn't feel like kicking Alfred out of his personal space, so he settled for more polite terms of getting him away.

"Just go away," He growled. Hey, it was polite by his standards.

While watching Alfred walk away to sit next to Arthur, Ivan knew how he could fix his relationship with Yao. But he didn't know if the rest of his pride could handle it.

^o^

It took all that Yao had to walk by Ivan.

He wanted more than anything to sit by him, to forgive all of his sins. But his stubborn pride wouldn't let him. Not in the slightest.

Kiku's surprised face when he sat down hurt him at first, but who could blame him?

Yao had refused all offers to sit by him, choosing instead to sit by Ivan. And now all of a sudden, Yao sat down with Kiku; leaving Ivan all by himself.

"Is Ivan not here today?" Kiku asked.

"No, he's here," Yao told him, biting into the mystery the school called lunch.

"And you're not sitting by him?" Kiku continued.

"Look, can we not talk about him?" Yao asked, "we're not on good terms right now."

"That lasted longer than I thought," Heracles said, waking up from his nap.

Yao always wondered how the Greek could sleep through all the noise. You could go deaf in this cafeteria with all it's screams and shouts!

"What do you mean?" Yao asked him.

"The whole school expected you to go crying to your mommy after one week with Ivan," Herculaes told him. "You lasted five months."

Another thing that amazed amazed Yao, was how he had spent so long not knowing about Ivan's violent nature.

But now that he knew, he was hearing about it all over.

Little whispers in the hall, how everyone made sure to avoid the Russian.

He opened his carton of milk, marveling at his new discovery.

"Some people even thought you were dating," Herculaes continued. "I did, too, truth be told."

Yao nearly did a spit take.

"_What?" _He asked, incredlous.

"Well, you two were so close, we assumed," The Greek said, monotone, like Hong.

"Ivan and I were only friends, nothing else," Yao told him.

"Well that's a shame," Kiku muttered under his breath. But Yao had heard him.

He found it strange that another man would _enjoy _seeing two men together. Elizabeta could understand, for she was female, and they tend to flock around gay men. Kiku? The only reason he liked the stuff was probably be because he was dating Heracles. But wouldn't that be considered cheating?

_Must be a Japanese thing, _he thought.

"Aniki!" Yao groaned inwardly as his Korean cousin plopped down next to him.

"Is it true that you and Ivan broke up?" He asked.

"We were never dating," Yao sighed.

"Yes!" Yong-Soo cried out. "Now Aniki's breasts belong to me!"

"I don't have breasts, aru!" Yao shouted, tossing his still partially emptied carton at him.

"Well, I can't claim Kiku's," Yong-Soo said, dodging the carton of milk. " And since you and Ivan aren't dating, I claim yours."

"That doesn't mean they belong to you, aru!" Yao told him.

"Yong-Soo," Kiku said, voice dripping with false kindness, "I do hope you didn't mean what you said about my 'breasts'."

"If you weren't dating Heracles, then they would be mine... So yeah. I did mean it," he told Kiku, signing his own death warrant.

As his cousins started bickering, and Heracles falling back asleep, Yao unconciously glanced behind him.

Ivan was no longer there. He felt a tug on his heart.

_No, _He told himself. _I don't miss him. And I certainly __**do not**__ love him._


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: This would've been up earlier, but Fuji was having technical issues. But this is now beta'd! Also, after you read this chapter, please vote on my poll on my profile. I would really appreciate it.**

_'I can't believe I'm doing this!'_ Ivan thought, hand hesitating over the doorbell.

But before his pride could get the better of him, he rang the bell.

"I got it!" someone cried from inside, "Move it Mattie!"

The door flew open to reveal an excited Alfred. On the floor behind him, his brother Matthew, was face down on the ground.

His face fell when he saw that it was Ivan.

"What do you want," he scowled.

"Were you expecting something else?" Ivan replied with his usual smile.

"Unless you have my new video game, then yeah," Alfred told him. "So what does a commie want with the awesome hero that is Alfred Jones?"

Ivan was more than tempted to bash his face in, but he decided to play nice.

"I need to ask you something," Ivan told him "in private." Glancing at Matthew, now getting on his feet.

Alfred gave him a long hard stare before letting him in.

As Alfred led Ivan to his house, he looked around.

It was surprisingly clean, and pictures of past achievements and good times hung on the walls.

Nothing at all like Ivan's home. Anything and everything that had to do with his family, he locked away. The walls were bare, and he liked it that way.

The house itself was a sparkling example of good hygiene. But Alfred's room was a pretty much the germophobe's worst nightmare.

Old fast food wrappers littered the floor, dirty dishes were still on the night stand, and clothes – dirty _and_ clean– were strewn about the room. It smelled like someone had stuck rotten cheese in the vent system and forgot about it.

"Sit down," Alfred ordered, plopping down on a bean bag in the corner.

Ivan did, choosing the bed but something in the corner caught his eye.

"Do I want to know?" he asked, holding a pair of union jack boxers by his fingertips, though he was sure he knew already.

"Let's pretend you never saw that," Alfred blushed, tossing the boxers in the closet, which Ivan was certain was worse than the bedroom.

"How can I be of service to you?" Alfred asked, with false formality.

"You and Arthur are constantly bickering," Ivan told him, ignoring the rudeness. "But no matter what, you two are always together."

"I fail to see where this is going," Alfred said blankly.

_'Of course not you dumb-ass,' _Ivan said silently in his mind.

"I just want to ask you," he continued, "was how you guys do it."

"Woah, woah, woah," Alfred said, putting his hands up. "That's a question for Francis, not me."

Ivan scowled, "I don't mean it like that! I mean, how can you make each other so mad, yet still be together?"

Alfred gave a sheepish smile very different from his usual boisterous one. Ivan found it well, for lack of better word, pleasant. Even this idiotic American was nice if he shut his trap.

"Yes, we fight a lot," he said looking off into the distance, "but that's probably because we love each other.

"With each harsh word, we know that in the end, everything's going to be just fine."

"But I _don't_ know!" Ivan said, voice cold and bitter. "And I fear I never will..."

"Is this about Yao?" Alfred asked.

"How'd you know?"

"Kinda hard to miss with you two being all over one another, then suddenly want nothing to do with each-other."

Ivan didn't say anything. He had long since learned that the only person who didn't notice his feeling for the Chinese man was Yao himself.

"My advice to you," Alfred continued, "is to keep at it. If you make it clear about what he means to you, he will notice."

"Thanks, Alfred," Ivan smiled. The first totally sincere smile towards the blond since they met.

"No prob, say hi to your sisters for me," Alfred said.

"I'll try," he replied, meaning no.

Ivan left in full spirits. Who knew that visiting his most hated rival would put him in such a good mood.

Walking home, he wondered how he could make Yao come back.

Then he remembered that he had an obsession with a certain character.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting...

**A/N: Review please~ I love to hear from you guys!**


	17. Chapter 16

_"Yao, come play!" Ivan called to him, a child yet again. The world distorted itself as he walked away._

_"Ivan! Wait up!" Yao yelled, running after his friend. But no matter how hard or how fast he ran, Ivan got further and further away... Until he was a but speck on the horizon._

_"Ivan! Ivan!"_

_"Why are you calling for me?" Ivan asked, suddenly materializing him, back to his actual age; "You don't remember me, remember?"_

_Yao's heart started to melt, like wax that had been out in the sun to long._

"No!" Yao screamed, bolting awake. He cradled his head in his arms, trying to calm his racing heart.

_'It was just a dream,'_ Yao snorted, _'Dream? More like a nightmare.'_

Glancing at his clock, he decided to take a shower and get ready for school.

While drying his hair, he noticed Ivan's clothes on his dresser, never having the chance to give them back.

He clutched the bundle and held them to his face, breathing in their scent. Even after five months, they still smelled like their owner...

Yao huffed and hurriedly stuffed them in a plastic bag, before he decided to keep them.

He made a quick breakfast before he woke Hong, so they could eat it together. Speaking quietly, so their mom wouldn't wake up.

After Hong got dressed, Yao walked him to school.

That's when he started to wonder about the dream. Taking care of Hong kept it him from thinking about it too much, in a sort of 'out of sight, out of mind' type situation. But in the silent moments that they were walking, his mind started to drift.

Why did he dream about Ivan, or all people? Ivan had hurt him. Not _physically_, but _emotionally_. Yao felt betrayed when he found out the truth.

_'ButI fooled myself,' _Yao thought,_ 'Ivan was so innocent looking, that I didn't look beyond his mask... I refused to.'_

Despite this Revelation, Yao still wasn't ready to forgive Ivan. Not just yet.

"Yao!" Hong called, bringing him back from the depths of his mind; "We're here."

Looking about he saw that they had walked right up to the elementary school's doors, all without him realizing it.

"Right," Yao said, getting his bearings, "have a nice day Hong. Come home straight from school, okay?"

Hong nodded and bid his brother farewell as he went off the join his fellow classmates.

Yao's look lingered on his sibling for a moment before turning around and walking away– until something small and blonde (that looked strangely like Arthur) collided with him.

"Peter!" said Briton yelled as he appeared next to Yao, "You get back here and apologize!"

"No way, you British jerk of jerks!" Peter yelled back, sticking out his tongue while wiggling his fingers in his ears.

"The little ingrate," Arthur sighed as he watched the boy disappear into the building.

"Sorry about that," he told Yao as he helped him up, "He doesn't know how to be polite to save his life."

"It's okay," Yao assured him, taking the hand and straightening himself up, "Was that your brother?"

"Yes, though you wouldn't know it by the way he treats me," was the reply.

Without so much of a word, they started walking to school together.

Arthur kept glancing at Yao, making him uncomfortable.

"I don't mean to butt my way into your argument," The Brit finally said, breaking their silence, "but I think you should forgive Ivan."

Yao froze. "_What? _Why should I forgive him?" Yao demanded, "He has hurt so many people."

"I can't claim to know him inside and out, but back then, every time I looked at him, I saw this sadness in his eyes. It was kind of scary to look at... They were like ice." he paused, "But ever since you came along, that sadness started melting away..." Arthur offered him a small smile before continuing once more; "But now, since you refuse to talk to him, that sadness as frozen over again. And there's only one person who can bring him back from that depression– you, Yao."

Yao stood still as stone, as he looked down guiltily, pondering at the other man's words.

"We better get going, or we'll be late," Arthur said, glancing at his watch.

Yao nodded and walked slowly, a little behind the British man.

Filled with a new resolve, he decided to forgive Ivan. It was like Ivan said, he didn't want to be that way, but his emotions had a better hold of him.

With his head held up high, Yao walked into the school... And right into a scene of pain and violence.

^o^

Making sure that his gift wouldn't fall out, Ivan smiled contentedly to himself and slammed Yao's locker door shut– revealing a very irked Yong-Soo on the other side.

"How'd you get in Aniki's locker?" he demanded, "What did you put in it?"

"None of your business," Ivan told him, turning away.

"You know, no matter what it is, he still probably won't forgive you," Yong-Soo retorted, stepping in his way.

"What makes you say that?" Ivan asked, clenching his fist.

"Aniki is really stubborn in his beliefs. If he feels that what you did is wrong, he'll never forget it." Yong-Soo paused, "Besides, who knows when you'll go psycho murderer on him." He added, just for good measure.

That was it, this idiotic Korean was going to wish he was never born.

Ivan grabbed Yong-Soo by his collar, and landed a heavy fist on his cheek, making his nose bleed.

He was about to throw another one when a voice stopped him–

"Ivan!"

Ivan immediately dropped Yong-Soo as Yao ran over, kneeling down to tend to his cousin, Yao glared at him.

"Y-Yao," Ivan stammered. "I-I"

"Don't speak," Yao hissed. "You've done enough already."

"I only wanted to be friends again," Ivan pleaded.

"By hurting my family?" Yao asked, shaking his head. "That's not an acceptable form of apology."

"Yao, I really didn't-"

"Didn't what? Didn't hurt all those people? I've heard the rumors, Ivan. I tried ignoring them, and for a while, it worked. But then I got proof," Yao said spat. His eyes, which often rivaled the summer sun, were now cold. Colder than any winter in Siberia.

"I hate you."

Yao stoop up and helped his cousin to the infirmary.

But the one who really needed a doctor was Ivan.

That was it– the final blow. The one that completely crushed him.

Yao no longer liked him– No, he _hated_ him. So what was tho point of him being there now?

Ivan gathered up his things, and walked home. No one was going to care if he played hooky anyways... Especially not Yao.

Once home, he dropped his books on the nearest flat surface and collapsed onto the couch; conveniently, or inconveniently placed in front of a mirror.

The reflection showed all of his familiar features. The Braginsky family's light beige-blonde hair, amethyst eyes that were his and his alone, his big nose– the same one that his mother always told him was one of his best features– his chubby cheeks that still weren't able to lose their baby fat... And that smile. His trademark smile.

_'How can I smile after all that has happened?'_

The image became distorted as Ivan became angry. That was _not_ him, he wasn't the cute little boy he once was. He was a sad, hurt, and angry man.

He snatched up a book on the coffee table in front of him ironically titled 'The Pursuit of Happyness' and sent it flying towards the unfortunate mirror, effectively shattering it into a million little pieces.

Ivan sat back down, curling up with his knees to his face, silently wondering if anyone would be able to save him from the depths of despair he was drowning in.

**A/N: And that's it for now, I better get off of here before mom comes in, or I won't be able to update for a month.**


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: And I predict I'll get another batch of 'poor Ivan' comments XD. I swear that's the single most received comment. I think I'll keep up the poll until the story ends, so vote while can, please!**

"I _hate_ you."

He regretted the words as soon as he said them.

He could see the hurt in Ivan's eyes, the sharp pain that Yao, and Yao alone, had caused.

But there was no taking them back now. The damage had been done... And there was nothing he could do to fix it.

He helped Yong-Soo to the nurse's office, mentally kicking himself the entire way.

Seeing as the nurse was busy lecturing Heracles and Sadiq for fighting yet again, Yao tended to his cousin himself.

"You are such a fool!" Yao scolded. "I'm sure that whatever you did, you deserved what you got."

"What?" Yong-soo asked, incredilous, "For making sure that Ivan didn't plant a bomb in your locker?"

Yao raised his eyebrow in question.

"I saw Ivan put something in you locker," he explained. "I couldn't tell what it was, or how he got into it in the first place, but I'm sure it isn't good."

Yao promptly hit his cousin on the top of his head.

"Oww!" he cried, clutching his head. "Since when do nurses hurt their patients?"

"Since their patients started being idiots," Yao retorted.

"Geez," Yong-Soo sighed. "You two are perfect for each other."

"Excuse me?"

"Even after you witness his crimes, you still defend him– and you've been the only one he's ever been nice to."

But before Yao could reply, the bell rang for class, and the two of them ran off before they were late.

Yao didn't see Ivan the entire day. Not in class, not at lunch, and not when school ended.

Remembering what Yong-Soo had told him, Yao was hesitant to open his locker. But he knew that whatever it was, it wouldn't hurt him.

Opening the door slowly, it revealed... A Shinatty-chan doll that was staring at him.

Blushing, he took it out to get a better look, and as he did, a small note fell from the toy's hands–

_I'm sorry._

_Ivan_

–it read.

A simple message with only two words. But they said everything to him.

Yao packed up his things and headed for the exit as fast as he could, planning to talk to Ivan tomorrow. But then he remembered that Christmas break had officially settled in– school wouldn't start again until January.

Meaning he wouldn't see Ivan until then.

_'I could always visit his house...'_ Yao thought, but nature had other plans. _'Maybe tomorrow,' _if the weather allowed...

It started raining when he was half-way home, forcing him to run the rest of the way.

Upon entering the threshold, Yao saw that his mom was up and playing with Hong.

She smiled when she saw Yao, "Welcome home, sweetie! Have a good day at school?"

Yao smiled. It was one of her good days, where she was almost normal again.

"Yeah, I did," he lied, plastering a convincing grin onto his face. There was _no way_ he was going to ruin the moment by telling the truth.

For the rest of the night , they got along like a normal family. Playing board games, and laughing for no reason at all.

Only when morning came did things return to the way they were before.

Life went on as normal for the next few days... Until a knock came from the door on an especially stormy night.

Yao opened it to find a soaked Bella.

"Where is he?" she demanded.

"What?"

"Ivan!" she yelled, grabbing his collar and pulling him down to eye level. "He's been sick for the past two days! I brought him something to eat, but he wasn't there. Where the hell is he?" she shrieked.

_Ivan._

Yao pulled away from the tight grip and pushed past her, running into the storm.

His mind was going a mile a minute, _'Where would he be? Dammit Yao, think! ...Of course! The sunflower field!'_

As Yao ran, fuzzy images started becoming clearer and clearer, coming to him in waves, threatening to drag him down...

But he resisted, and with each passing memory, it was simple, clear as day: Yao loved Ivan. He loved him before the accident, and even now. Despite the horrible things he had done.

"Ivan!" he yelled, running into the field. The sunflowers had long since died, but seedlings had just started to take their place.

Yao found him there, collapsed on the ground. Yao found a tarp nearby. _'He came to protect the seedlings... He must have fainted...'_

"You fool," Yao whispered, kneeling down to kiss Ivan. He felt warm droplets on his cheeks, which he assumed were tears.

He reached for his phone to call the hospital, but remembered that he and Ivan were the only ones who knew about this place, and Ivan said that he would like to keep it that way.

Mustering all of his strength, he dragged Ivan to the edge of the clearing, far from the garden.

There he phoned for an ambulance.

He heard it long before he saw it, wailing to the world that someone was hurt.

When it finally appeared, Yao was still clinging to Ivan.

"Can I go with him?" Yao pleaded as they loaded the Russian on a stretcher.

One of medics smiled sadly at him and said, "Well... We don't usually allow it since I'm assuming you're not part of his immediate family. But since you're the only one who's here, I guess we could make a little exception."

"Thank you," Yao smiled as he climbed into the vehicle with them.

He held Ivan's hand the entire way. It was ice cold and clammy... Almost lifeless.

At the hospital, Yao called Carlee.

"Hello?" she answered. Yao could tell she had been crying.

"Carlee, I found Ivan," Yao told her. "He's at the hospital right now."

"Oh, thank god," Carlee sighed with pure relief in her voice. "Bella and I will be there as soon as possible."

Once the phone line was dead, Yao sat back on the waiting room chair. He wondered if this was how Ivan felt ten years ago, when _he_ was being loaded onto an ambulance.

Thunder struck. It was in the far distance, but still very audible to Yao.

It was rainy the day he left... Kinda like this one.

He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by everything that had happened that day.

Carlee and Bella came rushing in, heading straight to the secretary's desk. She explained that Ivan was unavailable, and that they should wait with him.

Doing as they were told, they sat with Yao.

Bella was caught between her (slightly inappropriate) love for her brother and her hate for Yao, while Carlee was nervously biting her nails.

Yao sat, staring off into space and waited for them to tell him that Ivan was okay... Waited to see how the storm would unfold... And waited to see if the storm was created _just for him._

**A/N: Review please! Reviews are love 333**


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'm soooo sorry. I planned to have this up so much sooner, but from being grounded to Fuji simply not being able to find it, it's taken this long to get it up. Well, at least it's up now.**

With all that was going on, Yao had forgotten that Hong and his mom were on their own.

Cursing, he dialed Kiku's number.

"Hello?"

"Kiku, could you do me a favor and watch after Mom and Hong for me?"

"Of course," Kiku replied. "If I may ask, why?"

"Ivan's in the hospital," Yao answered solemnly. "I'm staying with him, until he gets better."

"I see," Kiku said. "Isn't it unfortunate? Him being in the hospital– seeing that it's Christmas Eve and all."

Yao did a double take. Christmas Eve? Checking the calender on the wall behind the secretary, he saw that indeed, it was Christmas.

"Yeah," he replied numbly. "It is."

Exchanging their goodbyes, Yao rubbed his eyes.

Time had lost all meaning when he met Ivan. Days passed before he realised they were there. Hours seemed like minutes– and minutes were more like seconds.

But if that meant he got to see Ivan's smiling face, he wouldn't care if time fast forwarded to the end of the world.

"Are you here for Ivan Braginsky?" asked a doctor, coming up to meet them.

Everyone nodded, afraid of what their voices would betray.

"You may visit him now," he told them. "But be quiet, the other patients are asleep."

"How is he?" Carlee asked.

"Everything is fine... Except that he's in a small coma."

"A coma?" Carlee cried, bringing her trembling hands to her mouth.

"Don't worry," he said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "He'll wake up in the next few days.

"Though it's strange, we normally don't wee a coma in someone who's fever got a little to high. Has he been on anything? Drugs? Acohol?"

"Depression," Yao spoke up, head towards the linoleum floor. "He's been depressed lately... Because of me."

"Hmm," the doctor said, stroking his non-exsitant beard. "I guess we better fix that, then. He's in room 204."

They thanked him, and traveled further into the hospital.

But the doctor held Yao back.

"Some people believe that people experiancing comas are still able to hear what's going on around them," he told him. "So talk to him, like he's awake. Got it?"

Yao nodded and ran to catch up eith Carlee and Bella.

He walked into Ivan's room, and froze. If it weren't for all of the wires attached to him, Yao would've sworn that there was an angel in their midst.

But even if that were true, he knew that he would be an angel of death. But couldn't death be beautiful too?

At his bedside, Yao brushed stray hairs out of Ivan's eyes, while his sisters looked on.

Softly and silently, he leaned over the sleeping Russian, and kissed him gently on the lips.

Pulling away, he paused for a minute, then sighed.

"I thought that if I kissed him, he would wake up," Yao explained, still staring at Ivan. "Like Sleeping Beauty."

Carlee stepped forward and embraced him, "This may not be a fairytale, but let's hope it ends like one,"

Wrapped in her arms, Yao silently let his tears fall.

^o^

After the tears, Yao sat beside Ivan, and held his hand– never letting go.

Bella had fallen asleep in the chair, and Carlee was about to when a nurse called her over.

Whispering, Yao only caught bits of the conversation.

"...need it soon..."

"...can't afford..."

"...I'm sorry..."

The nurse left, and Carlee returned, looking older than before.

She sighed heavily, collapsing in the seat across from Yao.

"What was that about?"

"She was asking how we were going to pay the hospital bill," Carlee told him. "We don't have insurance, so we have to pay it ourselves. But we'll lose our house in the process."

Yao winced. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Yes," Carlee replied. "Our grandfather has enough money to buy this nation– and still have enough for a life of luxury.

"If we ask, he might give us some of his fortune."

"Let's hope he does."

Carlee smiled sadly as she dialed the number.

"Здравствуйте, дедушка*" she said. Speaking rapidly in what Yao assumed was Russian.

He caught Ivan's name here and there, and he hoped for the best, but Carlee's face said that there wasn't much to hope.

"Я подумаю об этом*," she said with a grim face. "До свидания*"

"Well?"

"Says that he'll pay. But only if I let Ivan stay with him for another year," Carlee told him. "That bastard, no wonder everyone calls him Winter. His heart is as hard as stone, and as cold as ice," she practically spit. Then her eyes widened, "Oh my gosh! I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth. "Normally I don't speak so badly of people."

"It's fine," Yao smiled. "That's not really much, considering your siblings."

Carlee laughed. Her sweet voice bouncing gently off the walls.

"That's true," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. "I've never felt like a true Braginsky when my family is so violent."

Yao smiled, then took a more grim look.

"So what do we do now?"

"When Ivan wakes up, we'll ask him what he wants to do," Carlee said. "After all, it's his life we're taliking about."

"No," Yao said forcefully. "We both know what Ivan will do when he wakes up. If it means that you and Bella get a nice, safe home, he's willing to suffer by staying with your grandfather."

"I know that," Carlee sighed. "But I don't know what else to do."

"We'll figure out something," Yao assured her, himself as well. "Get some sleep, and see what tomorrow brings."

Carlee smiled at him, settled in her chair, and was asleep almost immediately.

Yao, on the other hand, was not able to get a wink of sleep. Worry filled his mind. He did not want to lose Ivan, not in the way Ivan lost him.

As the morning sun crept through the window, Yao rested his head on Ivan matress, and slowly closed his eyes.


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: Okay, first of all, I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to update. Since it's summer, I haven't felt like writing, and I was in New England for two weeks, so I couldn't write then. And sorry it's so short, but like I said, didn't feel like writing.**

Aside from the sleeping Ivan, Yao woke up alone, and the sun was already high in the sky. He figured that the girls were probably at the food court.

"Good morning, Yao," Yao said, stretching across the bed like a cat. "You know, I had a dream last night, about us. We were happy, all by ourselves and no one ever bothered us. Heh... Well, there was no one else there to bother us. Oh, but we got along so well, no fights, no betrayal... Just happiness."

He paused, frown on his face. "Why can't reality be like that? Why do we have to live this pain every day?"

Ivan offered no answers, choosing instead to further his travels to the world of dreams. He hoped that Ivan didn't like it so much that he decided to stay there forever.

Sighing, Yao stood up to leave the room, only to find that he could not. He found that he did not wish to leave Ivan's side, should he wake up with someone else, or worse yet– alone.

He knew he should get home, if only to release Kiku from his duties, and the grumbling from his stomach told him he should eat. But he couldn't move his feet from the bed.

Giving up, Yao sat back down, and waited for the girls to return.

When they did, he was glad to see that they were at least smiling, and not wallowing in despair like him.

"Good morning, Ivan," Carlee greeted when she saw him. "Nice to see you up."

"Morning," Yao smiled. "Though morning probably passed a while ago."

They all laughed and settled on an uncomfortable silence. Yao silently wished for something to break the ice.

His wish was soon granted, as his stomach groaned for the food that was not there.

"The cafeteria is downstairs," Carlee said, barely suppressing a laugh. "I'll have Bella show you."

Bella shot her an icy glare, which she ignored.

"I'd like to," Yao sighed. "But I'm afraid that if I leave, Ivan will wake up, without me here. Selfish, I know, but I want him to know that I care– no matter what I said before."

"Well you certainly have to eat," Carlee chided. "How about this: if Ivan starts to wake up, I'll call you. Is that okay?"

"Are you sure?" Yao asked. He wasn't sure if he was anxious about leaving Ivan, or being alone with his little sister.

"Don't worry," Carlee assured him. "It's not like I'm going anywhere soon."

Reluctantly, Yao followed Bella out of the room.

The atmosphere held an icy silence throughout the walk there, only getting a break when Yao was ordering his food. Sitting down, Yao shivered as the cold mood returned.

Bella giving him the evil eye made it hard to enjoy his food, that is, if cafeteria food could be enjoyable. But still– she made it uncomfortable.

"You know," she said, "I said that you could be friends with Ivan, not lovers."

"I never thought we'd be anything more than friends," Yao told her, putting down the stale sandwich, and picking up the jello, which tasted surprisingly good. "And besides, we're not technically dating yet."

"Only 'cause you realized how you felt after Ivan got sick," Bella seethed.

"But it's better than not knowing at all," he said. He really needed some tea right now, and considered getting back up for it, but decided that, compared to the food, their tea would most likely be watery and bland.

"I told big brother that he would marry me," she told him matter-of-factly. "There are no exceptions."

"Of course not," Yao sighed. "But isn't incest illegal?"

"Our love will prevail."

"At least until the cops find out," Yao shot back.

Bella's glare was mean enough to curdle milk. Warning sparks shot through his body, but he pressed on.

"We all know you love you brother a lot," He told her. "But you love him a little too much."

"There is no such thing."

"Just listen. I know it sounds corny, but if you love someone, you need to let them go."

"Why don't you follow your own advice?" Bella demanded, flipping her hair like she was Feliks.

"I did," he said. "Ten years ago, and you know what, I came back."

Bella had nothing to say. She couldn't say anything.

She know everything that Yao said was true, but still...

"I'm not saying that you should stay away from Ivan forever," Yao told her. "You are his sister. But what I am saying is to find someone new– someone who is able to love you back."

He stood up and stretched while Bella stared into nothingness.

"Now ," he said, outstretching his hand towards her. "Let's check on our white devil."

Smiling, Bella took it, and they made their way to their special person.

**A/N: Please review! I love hearing what you guys have to say! Also, for those of you who haven't yet, please vote on the poll on my page, I'll close it when this story ends.**


End file.
